My friend Al Friebe sent this one in:

In the spirit of the WWF, I’d like to offer my script for the next presidential debate …

Moderator: In the corner to my liberal left, the Democratic candidate, Barack Obama! And in the corner to my reactionary right, the Republican candidate, John McCain! All right, gentlemen, I want you to shake hands, fist bump, and come out fighting!

McCain: Good evening, and thanks for inviting me. I’d like to open tonight by pointing out that my opponent’s middle name is “HUSSEIN”, as in “Saddam HUSSEIN”!

Obama: Good evening. My opponent’s name is “John”, as in “John Wilkes Booth”!

McCain: Have you heard that Obama can’t account for two years of his life? Could it be that he spent it at a madrassah or terrorist training camp?

Obama: And McCain can’t account for five years of his! POW … maybe! Or maybe he spent the time at the Kremlin, consorting with his comrades and political masters!

McCain: My opponent pals around with terrorists!

Obama: And mine pals around with Barbie!

McCain: My friends, did I mention that that one is black? That his wife is black? And that his kids are black, my friends?

Obama: After five years allegedly spent in a torture chamber, my opponent might be schizophenic, paranoid or both!

McCain: He’s a terrorist!

Obama: He’s a racist!

McCain: Traitor!

Obama: Codger!

Moderator: Thank you, gentlemen! And good night from the Mainstream Media!